this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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