Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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