You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize