Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
