Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
try to milk me bitch
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
