walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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