he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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