don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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