I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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