Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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