i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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