My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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