You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
