he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize