I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
As shirtless as possible
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
