Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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