Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
