Kiss
Puke
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
