Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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