are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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