Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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