It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
