U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I look better un-naked...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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