you guys were way drunker than both of me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
