Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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