so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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