She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
