He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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