You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
3 2 1 whiskey
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
