I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
