dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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