I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
