Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
