I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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