i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
