he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she looked like the before picture.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
