I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
