Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
