i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
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There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
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i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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