i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize