Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
