I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
