nut hugger
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Enjoy the penises
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
