I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
