I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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