If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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