i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
