wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
