i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
