Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
