the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
