Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
