officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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