the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
