You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
