do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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