last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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