His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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