i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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