If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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