census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
